Stubbed toes

I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night and have to use the bathroom or really need a drink of water. I did this the other night. It always seems to happen right in the middle of a good dream, or while I am actually getting some good rest. I am oblivious to the world, lost in the enchantment of my dreams, drooling usually, when its like a slap to my face. BAM- I am awake, and man do I have to go.

What I hate even more about waking up in the middle of the night, is having to get out of my nice warm bed where my sheets are hugging me nice and tight, and my pillow is gently carressing my head. I have to throw off my sheets, feel my fan that is on high hit me full blast, and proceed to feel my way towards the bathroom.
That is another thing I hate. Fumbling around in the dark trying to find my way to a room I didnt even want to go to in the first place. I would much rather be back in my bed, comfortable and dreaming of my prince charming, houses made of cupcakes, or having the power to fly. Common sense would tell you to turn a light on. But does this ever happen when you are up in the middle of the night. No. I just continue to grope in the dark until I run into something. Yes. Toe-to-edge of furniture senario. And it hurts. My hand goes racing to my toe, as if this will make it all better. By placing my hand over my toes and shouting "Crap, crap, CRAP!!!" I feel I have accomplished... well.. nothing. I actually just work myself up more. Now am I not only out of my warm bed, not dreaming about prince charming, my toe is also throbbing to no end and I am flustered.

And in the middle of all this I began to think, "This is exactly what my spiritual life is like sometimes."

I am completely in my comfort zone. I am used to the comfort of a situation or a place, and I am warm, and cozy and in no mood to move. I am dreaming. I feel good. Out of no where God says to me, "Gabrielle, move. Get up, get out of your comfort zone. Do something new. Do something different. Grow. Get up. Move." And I dont want to. "But God I am comfortable, I feel fine. Things are going smooth. I dont want to move"
It's so funny how being in our comfort zone is like being in a state of sleep. It is just like being oblivious to the world, and laying down in our nice bed. Asleep. It's just like God too, waking us up, telling us to move. He strips the covers away from us, and that breeze from our fan that is on high hits us with a stinging wake up call. "MOVE."

When we do finally accept this call from God, it is alot like fumbling around in the dark, searching for our destination. I hate that. I hate not being able to see where I am going. I hate not knowing what I am doing. I want to see the end to this very long, very dark tunnel. It's uncomfortable. But God seems to offer us an option. "Take my hand."
It's simple really. He just says, "Take my hand"
My response or excuse for not doing so usually goes like this, "But God... it's dark. And I can't see. And I am uncomfortable."
I can almost hear God laughing at me as he says, "So. You dont need any of that to take my hand silly"
He never said he would turn the light on. He never said we would see. But he did promise that if we took His hand and let us lead, that we would be less likely to stubb our toes. Because he can see where we are going, and He will lead us around the obsticales.

But just like stubborn me, in the middle of the night, not wanting to turn the light on, I refuse to take His hand. Somehow, I know better than he does. And Obviously I can see in this pitch balck darkness.

So I stumble around in the dark. And I stubb my toe. And as I grab at the hurt, and scream at the pain, God cradles me, soothes it, and then simply says to me, "Will you take my hand now?"